Baby at my Breast (explicit)

I don't usually write poetry, but this topic just wasn't fit for a song, and a regular blog post didn't seem to do the feeling justice.  I consider this to be a work in progress, but if I don't post it now, it might become lost in the "to be edited files." I warn of its explicitness, not because of cussing, but because I do not avoid sharing things that weren't shared with me.  I feel it is the raw emotion that is explicit.  I'm sure all the other moms out there who have nursed can agree - it's an experience beyond words, forgive me for trying.

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Before my body ever bore a life
I wondered
What would it be like
To have a baby at my breast.

Would I feel strange?
Would it feel natural?
Would it hurt?
Would it feel good?

Pregnant
Tender
Breasts.
Don't touch me.

Then they handed you to me,
And everything made sense.
You knew just what to do.
It was the best thing
I could do for you
And it happened
All on its own.

And then it hurt.
14 long days and nights
I suffered in streams of tears
I wasn't sure I could go on,
but you needed this from me.
I bled.

Like the sun breaching the horizon
After a long winter night
Suddenly
It just didn't hurt anymore.
Feeling nothing,
Yet there you were, latched,
Getting
Everything
You need
From my breast.

Like a geyser
Blasting
Forceful
Milk streaming out of me!
You gulped and sputtered!
I can't control this!
You'd get too much,
Covering me
In my own milk.
Drenched.

Such a strange sensation,
The Let Down.
Filling.
Deep discomfort.
Like a water balloon,
Stretching at the faucet.

You come to me
Clicking your tongue
Making fists
Like a milk maid
Pulling the teats of a cow.
You nuzzle under my shirt,
I seem to have forgotten
All about
Modesty.

My breast
Brings you nourishment,
Comfort.
Before you loved me
You loved my breast.

You sleep in my arms,
I stare at your face.
Such peace.
Pure rest.
Treasured times.

Soon to be
Weaned,
Now I wonder
Will I ever again
Have a
Baby at my breast.